How to provide feedback at work?
Aktualizacja: 3 dni temu
In my coaching practice I am quite often asked to recommend a technique that would enable to provide feedback at work: to co-workers, to subordinates and to superiors as well. How to do it to, on one hand, be diplomatic and don’t make recipient defensive, and on the other express our thoughts and do it effectively.
Hers is an universal, simple (albeit very effective) SBI technique:
Let’s please see it on the following example:
Yesterday, when you ran your webcast (specific Situation)
and you spoke very quickly (specific Behavior)
webcast participants might get the perception that you were either stressed or came to this webcast unprepared (Impact this Behavior in this Situation made on others).
It is important that such feedback is shared in a timely manner (we don’t wait to share our observation for days). Only if a given situation still lives in a given person, there will be true willingness to listen to our feedback and hearing it (and let’s please note there is a big difference between listening to and hearing a given message).
Continuing on specific technical hints: it is also important that we try to avoid “you” messages.
“You” is quite finger pointing and some people may even feel physical pain, especially in very stressful situations. Instead we try to use “I” messages as much as we can.
So, for example:
instead of “yesterday you ignored me”, try: “yesterday, when I did not receive from you agreed report I felt ignored”.
This approach gives feedback’s receiver much wider (and therefore enriching) possibility to learn how the others feel/think in result of her/his behaviors.
That was just about selected technique. Before we however start using “techniques” let’s please first better build trust, be authentic and don’t be afraid to make mistakes ourselves.
Approx. 75% of human communication is non-verbal. So, before winning 25% of the verbal part, let’s first create the space for opening 75% up :-)